Latest News

Image not available

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Auditions


Read Through – 14th September 8pm Darenth Room, Eynsford Village Hall

Auditions – 18th September 5pm Eynsford Village Hall

We all know the story of Snow White, a beautiful, kindhearted girl, who tries to eat one of her ‘five a day’ and it all goes terribly wrong!

Just like with Jack and The Beanstalk, I’ve added a few twists and turns (and of course, shameless references to film in the form of Harry Potter), whilst still keeping the traditional elements of this story.

The land has been over run by the evil Queen Voldecourt, who uses her dark magic to take control of the kingdom. She prizes herself on being both powerful and the fairest in the land. Prince Sirius, the over confident and self-loving hero, arrives seeking the most beautiful girl in the land. Fortunately for Prince Sirius, upon her eighteen birthday, the Queen’s stepdaughter, Snow White, takes her ‘fair’ title. And of course, the Queen is not happy. The people of the land adore Snow White and she loves them back – it’s a very ‘mushy’ relationship we come to expect in panto land.

Snow White’s best friend, Muddles, who is also the Royal Huntsman to the Queen, should be well loved by the audience, as he gives them plenty of opportunity to interact.

There also is Ronnie and Reggie, the Queen’s evil Henchman; well they aren’t that evil really, I think silly Henchman is a  better way of putting it.

The Magic Mirror is forever telling the Queen who is ‘the fairest in the land’ and of course, we have a certain set of characters that you will only ever meet in this pantomime! And by that I mean the seven companions who befriend Snow White.

Due to Disney claiming ownership over the names of the dwarfs I was given two options. Follow the stereotypical Disney mould and just change their names slightly, i.e. Happy becomes Smiler, which I’ve seen before and not really enjoyed…OR, create seven brand new, more modern characters to fit in to a very traditional story!

So with this in mind, I’ve reimagined the ‘old man’ dwarfs completely. May I present to you, Dude, Punchline, Mimi, Brainy, Rocky, Blusher and Chatterbox!

Along with some wonderful songs and dances, I’m intending on having a ‘wizard duel’ in it too, in true Harry Potter style.

I believe a pantomime should be traditional, with modern elements interwoven into the plot and filled with strong, lovable characters. In my opinion, characters make the plot and not the other way around!

Of course, as it’s a family-friendly panto, I also think there should be as little ‘smut’ as possible. Like Jack, I want to create an adventure. I have no doubt that it will be tricky, but with a very strong production team and (hopefully) a brilliant cast, I really believe we can make this a Riverside pantomime to remember.

Character Description Spoken Song
Snow  White
Female  18- 28
Beautiful and kind – the typical principal girl – she loves
the world and everyone in it and they, in return, love her.  She is the kingdom’s sweetheart and sees the good in everyone.
Snow White and Muddles
Snow White and Old HagSnow White and Prince Sirius
Accidently in Love
Prince Sirius
 I decided that this character should be a bit of a mockery of the classic ‘Prince Charming’ stereotype. He is the handsome prince and that’s exactly what he thinks of himself. Sirius acts a bit like an over exaggerated superhero and is the face of every popular product, and don’t we know it. He’s got all the ‘cheesy’ one- liners and will be a fun and lively part. As expected, in the end he does come to his senses and saves our princess, Snow White. Snow White and Prince Sirius Accidently in Love
Queen Voldecourt
The evil Queen and Snow White’s stepmother. She is horrible to everyone in the Kingdom. She has the power and much to the land’s dismay, is also a very powerful witch. Incredibly vain and proud of her title as ‘fairest in the land’ and will do everything in her power to keep it that way.

*If you are audition for the QUEEN please also audition for the OLD HAG as this part may be played by the same actress.

Queen Voldecourt and Magic Mirror Killer Queen
Snow White’s best friend and the Royal Huntsman. Full of jokes and audience interaction – I would label him more as a Buttons than a Silly Billy type character. The audience should love him, sympathise with him and cheer him on. Snow White and Muddles

Ronnie Reggie Muddles Magic Mirror

Wake up Boo
Ronnie and Reggie
Any age
The silly double act. They are the Queen’s Henchman. Dim, but nice. Ronnie tries to take charge of the duo, but really they are as silly as each other. Needs great comic timing between the pair of them. Ronnie Reggie Muddles Magic Mirror
Old Hag
The Old Hag is the wicked queen in disguise, who gives Snow White the poisoned apple (major plot spoiler!) Think old crone/stereotypical witch!

This character may be played by the same actress, playing ‘Queen Volecourt’ but it could also just as easily be played by another talented actress!

Snow White and Old Hag Wake up Boo
Magic Mirror
Any Age
At last it is time for the mirror to shine
But only if you speak in panto rhyme
A mystical character, which we know little about
But it’s a great part, so have no doubt
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?
Queen Voldecourt and Magic Mirror

Ronnie Reggie Muddles Magic Mirror

Wake up Boo
Male/Female (all)
Any Age (all)
is dressed in BLUE and wears his baseball cap backwards. He is the ‘Cool’ one and considered to be the self-proclaimed ‘leader’ of the dwarves. Dwarfs


Wake up Boo (all)
Brainy Is dressed in RED and has big thick, geeky glasses. He is the ‘smart’ one and often baffles the others with his analytical and intellectual address.
Mimi Is dressed in YELLOW and she is the ‘fashionable’ one. Shopping is tots hashtag amaze.
Punchline Is dressed in GREEN and he is considered to be the ‘funny’ one. Lots of gags and interaction with the audience.
Rocky Is dressed in PURPLE. She is considered to be the ‘Rock chick’. She needs mad and funky hair.
Blusher is dressed in PINK. He has a nervous stutter and gets embarrassed quite easily.
Chatterbox is dressed in BROWN. He is very mysterious. He has an eye patch over one eye. He doesn’t say anything…
Any Age
How could we possibly do this show without a strong chorus? Sing, dance smile and be merry! The chorus is the foundation of any pantomime!

If you are just reading for Chorus please recite the nursery rhyme ‘Humpty Dumpty’ in an imaginative way. If you are already auditioning for a Principal role, you will automatically be considered for Chorus (unless you state otherwise) and therefore there will be no need to do a separate audition for it.

Humpty Dumpty Wake up Boo

Image not available

Rope 2016 Auditions


Directed by Matthew Friett


Sunday 29th May 1pm
Eynsford Village Hall – Darenth Room


Friday 27th May 8pm
Eynsford Village Hall – Darenth Room

Audition Pieces Here

Rope is a play which has been produced as the world’s tensest thriller and as the world’s darkest comedy. This production will have plenty of both. Paying homage to its Hitchcockian history on film and the farcical nonsense it subverts, I will be taking significant plagiarism influence from the very successful West End production of the 39 Steps to create a slick, fast-moving, laugh-out-loud production. The only way this will work is with an amazingly talented and dedicated cast… That is where you come in!

The only requirement for the cast of Rope is energy. As most actors will take on multiple roles for comedic and practical effect, everyone will read for everything at the auditions (though preferences will be considered), and roles cast based on comedic and acting potential. A young, strapping actor might get his ‘first choice’ part of a young handsome student, but he may also be playing a doddery old lady later on in the play. Appearance, age and gender are absolutely not barriers in auditioning and being cast for this production. The character info is only to inform your characterisation, not who you really are.

In addition to the on-screen parts, there are vital roles for non-speaking roles behind the scenes. Manipulating practical effects such as holding a watering can to make it rain, or banging dustbin lids together for thunder. The largest of these roles will be the ‘Sound Effects’, who will have their own table near the stage and provide all the sound effects akin to old Radio Dramas (or the Sound Effects game in Whose Line is it Anyway?) A stage-within-a-stage effect will ensure all suitably hilarious off stage antics are captured.

If you like to make people laugh and gasp in equal measure, and like the idea of messing around with established theatrical conventions, or just feel like being very, very silly for a few hours a night this October, please come along to the read through and auditions for Rope by Patrick Hamilton. Hope to see you all there!

The Characters

The Murderers
Wyndham Brandon –Male. Early 20s. Quietly and expensively dressed. Almost paternal with everyone he addresses, and this seems to arise from an instinctive knowledge of his own good health, good looks, success and natural calm. This, however, brings him at moments to an air of vague priggishness, and is the one reason why you cannot altogether like him.
Charles Granillo –Male. Early 20s. Expensively and rather ornately dressed.  He wears a diamond ring. A Spaniard.  He is enormously courteous – something between dancing-master and stage villain.  He speaks English perfectly.  To those who know him fairly well, and are not subject to Anglo-Saxon prejudices, he seems a thoroughly good sort.

The Victim
Ronald Kentley –Male. Very early 20s. Looks like Raglan. Or at least he looked like Raglan. When he was alive. No lines. Must be willing to stage fight and die horrifically and realistically of asphyxiation in the first couple of minutes.

The Guests
Sabot – The servant. Male. 30+. An alert, very dark little Frenchman, with a long nose and a blueness of cheek which no amount of shaving will eradicate.  He is an almost perfect servant – intelligent, alert and obedient. He is married, quietly ambitious, industrious, and will have a restaurant of his own one of these days.
Kenneth Raglan – A friend from Uni. Male. Early 20s. Simple, good-looking, shy, foolish and good.  He still thinks that nightclubs are dens of delight, but that there is probably one girl in the world for him whom he will one day find.
Leila Arden – Another university friend. Female. 20s. Young, good-looking, and has no ideas.  She also has the same tendency to conceal that deficiency with a show of sophistication.  She has a fairly good stock of many-syllabled and rather outré words which she brings out with rather comic emphasis, and might even be thought deep.  But she is not.
Sir Johnstone Kentley – The victim’s father. Male. 50+. A decidedly pleasant older gentleman, slightly bent, old for his years. Slow moving, utterly harmless, gentle and a little listless.
Mrs Debenham – Kentley’s sister who only says about three goddamn words in the whole thing. Will be represented by a mop wearing a hat through most of the play. Female. 50+.  She is, indeed, so completely a nonentity as to acquire considerable personality and distinction from the very fact.
Rupert Cadell – The murderers’ idol. A university lecturer. Male. Late 20s to 40s. Hamilton calls him He is a little foppish in dress and appearance, and this impression is increased by the very exquisite walking-stick which he carries indoors as well as out.  He is lame in the right leg.  He is enormously affected in speech and carriage. His affectation almost verges on effeminacy, and can be very irritating, but he has a very disarming habit, every now and again, of retrieving the whole thing with an extraordinary frank, open and genial smile.”

Image not available

Updates from Committee Meeting Sept and Oct 2015


Spring Slot

Next year’s spring slot will be Rope directed by Matthew Friett. More details to come soon!

House of Dracula

The youth group are working really hard on their next show, House of Dracula. It will be for one night only on the 14th of November so get your tickets from Naomi now! It is the most ambitious show the kids have done for a long time and well worth your support.

Stars in their Eyes

We are still looking for a couple of acts for Stars. It will be on the 5th of December and promises to be a fabulous evening. We need you to come be your idols! Don’t worry if you don’t look exactly like that person or sound exactly like them, it’s the performance that counts! Email jasond@riversideplayers.co.uk 

My Brilliant Divorce

We have had standing ovations, we have had multiple emails in, we have had people stopped in the street! Every single piece of feedback has been utterly astounded by this show. If you haven’t booked your tickets yet, do it now. Here are some of the pieces of feedback shared with us:

I had sat just in front of what turned out to be the actor’s daughter and I said to her that her mother was b r i I l i a n t and I/we were “gobsmacked” at the length of the script the actor had to learn with very little prompting.  Her daughter asked me to meet her mother afterwards and I was proud to shake her hands and she looked exhausted.  Positively first class

It turned out to be one of those special evenings that are truly memorable. The work that went into the production must have been enormous, and the end product brilliant.

If any member of riverside players wishes to view the minutes to the Committee Meetings, they are available upon request by emailing committee@riversideplayers.co.uk

Image not available

Return to the Forbidden Planet Auditions


The biggest rock ‘n’ roll show is coming your way soon!

Join Captain Tempest and his crew on an epic voyage along with green monsters, a roller skating robot and insane scientist to boot.

All your favourite rock ‘n’ roll hits will be featured in this hot feature from Riverside Players coming to you in summer 2016 so buckle up, suit up and get ready for an intergalactic voyage into hyperspace… and beyond!

Be a part of that by auditioning for Return for the Forbidden Planet on October 4th at Anthony Roper School at 2pm.

All assets are available to download at the bottom of this post

The Crew

Captain Tempest – Male 28-40

The Captain of the Albatross, Tempest needs to have the authority to command the crew. He is the all American hero, with a pipe in one hand and apple pie in the other. He is stern but good natured and will always try to do the right thing.

Bosun –Male/Female, any age

The Bosun is Tempest’s right hand man, a senior officer but not officer class. Coarser than his Captain, he is nevertheless fiercely loyal – but perhaps a little too eager in some cases.

Science Officer / Gloria – Female, 34+

The “new science officer” who dramatically is revealsed to be the ex-wife of Prospero. She is a cold, calculating, smart and sassy space woman. She’s the only woman to get this far in the Space Core – and she didn’t sleep her way to the top.

Cookie – Male, 18-25

The youngest (and least respected) member of the crew. He is a young, impressionable and easily led young man. Falls in love with Miranda and then plots revenge when it isn’t returned.

Navigation Officer – Male/Female, Any Age

The person driving this damn tub! The Navigation Officer keeps the ship on course, with a few choice lines and some nice solo lines in the songs.

Crew – Any Sex, Any Age

Due to the needs of the show, there will be a few roles for musicians without given names in the script. There are a few lines that are up for grabs, but mainly they’ll need to help make the music slick as well as making the ship look busy when necessary. If you’re a musician that would rather rock out without too many Shakespearean lines to learn, this is the part for you!

The Outsiders

Doctor Prospero – Male, 39+

The Mad Scientist who is father to Miranda and ex-husband to Gloria. He feels maligned by the world, despite his obvious genius. He is a very protective father, but he is clearly someone who holds a grudge. Knows he is smarter than everyone else.

Miranda – Female, 15 – 21

The sweet, innocent daughter of Prospero and Gloria. She has never met anyone but her father and Ariel – making everything strange and exciting.

Ariel – Any Gender, Any Age

The robot created by Prospero to do his bidding. A wonder to behold – guardian of Miranda and bound to Prospero.

Audition Assets

Audition Pack

Image not available

Jack and the Beanstalk 2016 Auditions


Dear Lords and Ladies of Pantoland,

Yes it’s that time again! (Oh no it isn’t etc.) As I invite you all to attend auditions for the January 2016 production of Jack and the Beanstalk.

READTHROUGH DATE Monday 21st September, 8pm, EVH

AUDITION DATE Sunday 27th September 1pm, EVH

(Please do let me know at the earliest possible date if you cannot attend and I will arrange another audition with you BEFORE this date).

This story takes you to the once lovely land of Eynsinham (see what I did there). Unfortunately, the land has been over run by the evil Giant Blunderbore who claims taxes and riches off the Eynsigham’s residents through his evil henchman Fleshcreep. Surely somebody is brave enough to stop this torment…? Cue Jack Trott, a brave, young, courageous boy who believes he can make a difference.

Of course, Jack is not alone….

Jack and the Beanstalk (J&B), has always been one of my favorite pantomime stories. It’s got so much potential for an exciting family story with lots of fun loving characters to be involved.

I’m very excited about this new project, as I embark on directing my very first pantomime. Quite frankly, if the gags aren’t funny, I’ve got nobody to blame but myself, as I also wrote the script!

I’ve already got an amazing production team working on this already and I now need those darling ‘luvvies’.

Any problems or questions please contact me on 07507837931 or lawrencewatling@msn.com

It will be fun, it will be cheesy and it will be one big spectacular adventure.

See you there,

Larry :)

Character Playing Details Description Spoken Audition Piece Singing Audition Piece
Jack Trott Male/Female 18-30 The hero of the story. Although Jack is technically labeled as, the ‘principal boy’, I do not see him as a ‘Prince Charming’ type character, who goes out to seek the girl. He is poor boy (though not common) who wants to bring freedom to those he loves so dear and will do whatever it takes to do so. He loves Tamara. Jack has a fight scene. Jack and FleshcreepJack, Billy and Tamara I’ll be there for you
Princess Tamara Female 16-28 The princess of the land who captures Jack’s heart. She, like Jack, is kind and determined to bring freedom to the land and its people. She is not scared of Fleshcreep and she is one of the only characters brave enough to stand up to him. She loves Jack. Jack, Billy and TamaraFleshcreep and Tamara Holding Out for a Hero
Dame Trott Male 30+ Jack and Billy’s mother, who provides much of the comedy for this pantomime. The Dame considers herself to be very sexy, much to the audience’s disbelief! Uses several pet names for her two sons. She is always on the hunt for a new man. Dame TrottDame and Billy I’ll be there for you
Silly Billy Male any age The comic of the story. Partnered with Dame Trott for the majority of his stage time. Billy is probably the character with the most interaction with the audience so a high level energy performance is required. Billy does have a very messy slapstick scene with Dame Trott, which the audience should hopefully find very comical. Dame and BillyJack, Billy and Tamara I’ll be there for you
Fleshcreep Male 30+ The giant’s representative on the land. Fleshcreep is mean and nasty towards everybody with the exception of his master (the Giant). He will go out of his way to make everybody’s life a misery, as that is what makes him happy. A very menacing performance is required. Fleshcreep has a fight scene. Fleshcreep and TamaraJack and Fleshcreep I’ll be there for you
Fairy Flora Female any age This character is kind and not scary
She is the very lovely vegetable fairy
She is very caring and wants to help Jack
To bring freedom and everyone’s happiness back
But one thing you may notice, which she does all the time
Oh yes, indeed, she is forever talking in fancy rhyme
Fairy Flora Let It Go
King Alan Cremer XXXXIIII Male 45+ Yes that’s King Alan Cremer the 44th. I didn’t need a lot of inspiration for this character’s name!
He is Tamara’s father and a very run down king indeed. He is the loveable character that tries to use his status to take charge of the situation, but he is really just as silly as the rest.
King, Dave and Chas I’ll be there for you
Dave and Chas Male or Female 25+ The king’s idiotic henchmen. These two characters are very fun loving, full of life and have many gags between them. These roles require a strong comic duo that can work well together and are able to bounce of one another. King, Dave and ChasDave and Chas I’ll be there for you
Giant Blunderbore Male 30+ The antagonist of the story, even though we actually don’t see the Giant until very late into the second half his booming, menacing voice is heard throughout. Must exaggerate gestures, as this character will be in a skin like costume. The giant has a fight scene. Giant I’ll be there for you
Daisy The Cow Male or Female any age Is what she is, a beautiful cow and the darling of the story. I need two (or potentially more) Daisy operators as it were. Even though the cow has no lines (apart from moo) I have no doubt that the audience will fall in love with her and she will steal the show. Must exaggerate gestures, as this character will be in a skin costume. THERE IS NO SPECIFIC AUDITION FOR THIS PART (if you are interested, please state on audition form)…you can show me your best ‘mooing’ impression if you please! n/a n/a
Chorus All genders, all ages Lots of fun cameo parts and lots of cheesy numbers to dance and sing to. There is also a chance to not only be human characters, but ghosts and ghouls too. Like any show like this, I need a fun loving and enthusiastic chorus. Must have the ability to smile and have lots of energy. Chorus I’ll be there for you

Riverside Players Needs You!


What we’ve done lately