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Thoroughly Modern Musicals – Auditions


Welcome to Thoroughly Modern Musicals. We are holding auditions on Tuesday 5th Feb at 7.30pm and Sunday 10th Feb from 5pm. There are songs for all voice styles from the Book of Mormon to Bat out of Hell to Little shop of Horrors. Pick any of the audition songs below and come and see us!

Audition songs:

Pure Imagination (Kids choice)
Somewhere That’s Green
Radio GAGA
Time Warp (Character focus)

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Red Riding Hood – Rehearsal Update


It’s December. Officially Advent. And what are we all getting ready for? Why, it’s the Riverside Panto of course!

This year, we return to the land of fairy-tale with Little Red Riding Hood. It’s the traditional story of Little Red, her Grandma and the Big Bad Wolf, but in a brand new script, exclusive to the Riverside Players. Be prepared for more than a fair share of silliness… and getting sillier with every rehearsal!

Heidi’s brilliant choreography has really come alive with the last few rehearsals. In particular, the closing number (Shut Up and Dance) and theWoodcutter’s solo (a secret… for now) are sure to bring the house down. It’s some of the most energetic, joyful, and funniest dancing ever to happen on the Village Hall stage.

The Chorus are working on wowing you all with a rendition of Who Will Buy (last seen at Riverside in 2006’s outdoor Oliver!) with a panto twist. And of course we can’t have a Big Bad Wolf without some Duran Duran – expertly performed by Jason who makes his triumphant return to the Riverside Stage this year, flanked by his three piggies – Lorraine, Kirstie and Finn – who are getting more ridiculous by the day. Our MD James’ score and arrangements are already sounding very tight with hi s band, and they’ll be joining the actors at rehearsals soon.

Acting-wise, the grown ups are being put in their place by three of leads fresh from the Riverside Youth – Neve is delighting as Red; Fred is flexing his comic muscles as Little Boy Blue; and James is being the manliest he’s ever been as the Woodcutter. Our (only slightly…) older hats – Ferne (as Grandma) and Guppy (as REDACTED) – have got some stiff competition from the upcoming generation of Riversiders!

There are many more people I could rave about… I could tell you about the Queen and her (his?) silly heralds. I could tell you about the various puppets. I could tell you about the sneaky Lawyer. But too much would be spoiling it. Rest assured, this is a pantomime you will not want to miss!

– Matt (Director)

P.S. If anyone has any large cardboard boxes going spare, please send them our way!

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Leave It To Psmith Review


What ho!

Never one to shy away from a challenge, new director Shari Newton brings us this delightful piece of PG Wodehouse, adapted from the last of his Psmith stories, which was also the second of his stories concerning BlandingsCastle.

Not wanting to be the least experienced member of the production team, she also recruited a crew who, in the main, had never tried a hand at their particular task before! Fortunately, experienced mentors were on hand to lendtheir experience, calm fears, soothe fevered bows and (hopefully) spend more time than usual in the Five Bells.I would like to point out that even given my lack of recent experience as an audience member, I was not provided with a suitable mentor – however, this proved to be no handicap in the enjoyment of the play.

On being shown to my table by the impeccably dressed staff, I was presented with a bar price list in the form of a contemporary magazine, in addition to my programme. To those carpers who bemoaned the lack of detail in the programme as to the plot – had they read beyond the price of a glass of rose, they would have noted the relevant society news items in the magazine, especially concerning the bequest of certain diamonds. Still, the play’s the thing, as someone or other may have already written…

The story is a wonderfully silly blend of crusty old duffers, plucky young things, upper class twits, lower class crooks, get – rich quick scheming and mistaken identities, all centred around the efforts of the eponymous Psmith to assist Freddie, the feckless scion of the Emsworth family of Blandings Castle, in finding the wherewithal to marry his girlfriend Phyllis. A convoluted plot to steal and then return a set of priceless diamonds belonging to Freddies great-aunt is further complicated by the arrival of a pair of crooks, also intent on purloining the aforementioned sparklers.

From a technical perspective, all the wonderful dialogue of Wodehouse was crisply (and audibly) delivered, lighting was uniformly good and the costumes, set and props worked seamlessly. The cast played the entire thing straight, which made it even funnier. It would be difficult to pick out a particular highlight in a show filled with laugh-out-loud moments, but the catty verbal sparring between Julia Bull’s Lady Middlewick and Lynda Newton’s Ethelberta Fitzwiggin is a strong contender.

A very enjoyable evening overall, and an excellent training opportunity to expand the available pool of backstage crew talent – jolly well done, chaps.

— Peter Nicholson

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Red Riding Hood – Fancy Getting Involved?


Fancy getting involved?

Riverside players would like some help with Front of House for Red Riding Hood, and some spare hands on the 16thof January for the seating set up which starts from 7pm.

Interested in becoming a chaperone for Panto and future shows? If so contact Committee and wecan get the ball rolling!

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Blackadder II


I have a cunning plan…

Exciting news is a foot as Blackadder, Percy and Baldrick make plans to journey to the quaint village of Eynsford. Presenting in October 2019 along with Queenie, Nursie and the rest of the gang, they are regaling three episodes from the hit show Blackadder II for us all.

Auditions are on Sunday 23rd June at 2pm and Tuesday 25th June at 8pm 

Codpieces at the ready!!

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2018 Christmas Social!


Want to do some caroling? Play some silly games?

We have our annual christmas social this year on the 16th December at the village hall from 7.30pm

Family and friends welcome!
Some party snacks will be provided and the bar as usual will be open!

We look forward to seeing you there!

Jen and sarah (Social team)

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!! STOP PRESS !! – Venue Change for Panto Auditions


Pantomime Auditions this Sunday 9th will be taking place at Anthony Roper Primary School at 1pm

Pantomime Auditions Tuesday 11th will be taking place in the Darenth Room (Village Hall) at 7:30pm

Audition pieces here

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Red Riding Hood Auditions

Jen Armstrong

Get ready! It’s audition season and Matthew, our director for Red Riding Hood, is waiting to pick his talented cast.

Read below to see the audition pieces for Auditions on Sunday 9th September at midday and Tuesday 11th September at 7pm (At Eynsford Village hall)


Audition Scenes

Click the link above to download the scenes for auditions.

They include:


Little boy Blue / Little Red Riding Hood / Woodcutter

Wizard / Big Bad Wolf

Queen Finger / King Thumb / Terry / Sidney

Kevin (Voice with Blue’s hand puppet) / Prisoner 1 & 2

Three Pigs (Ant/And/Dec) / Big Bad Wolf / Little Red Riding Hood

Audition form

Click the link above to download the audition form for auditions.

Song pieces include:

Little Boy Blue / 3 pigs – All the Small things (Blink 182)

Big Bad Wolf / Wizard – No More Mr Nice Guy (Alice Cooper)

Grandma / Woodcutter – I feel Pretty (West Side Story)

Red Riding Hood / Chorus – Who Will Buy (Oliver!)

Riverside Players Needs You!


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Riverside needs you! Submit your proposals for 18/19/20 NOW!