Latest News

Stars in their eyes needs you!


It’s back! Tonight Gavin, I’m going to be…

Stars in their eyes is coming back to Eynsford for one night only on the 5th of December. More information about the night will be coming soon but here’s how you can help.

We are looking for talented singers that look and sound like a famous singer, past or present? Could you dedicate some time to sounding and looking like a star for a memorable and entertaining one night only performance?

These evenings are always well supported by the local community and are amazing fun to be a part of. If you are interested in performing let me know as soon as possible. We are advertising this to the village, for acts, in the next couple of week, so get in quick before all the slots go!

If you are interested, email with what act you want to be.

Youth Group End of Year Awards


After a magnificent year which saw the Youth Group put on fantastic shows such as ‘The Butler Did It’ and ‘Murder at Haynes Manor’ along with learning stage combat and a host of other activities under the tutelage of Naomi and Amy. It is now time to award our most promising superstars!

The night started with some (of my) favourites such as games and party food before getting ‘down to business’ with the presentation of awards. A hush of anticipation gripped the hall… who am I kidding! The hall managed to quieten down so that Naomi could present each member with their certificate of excellence for outstanding contributions throughout the year and move on to the prestigious ceremony of coveted awards…

Our congratulations go to *drumroll if you please*:

Most Improved – Chloe!

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Most Commitment Shown – Harry!

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Best Newcomer – Nell!

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Best Comedy Moment – Finn!

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Youth Riversider of the Year – Charlotte!

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A fabulous year – don’t miss out on seeing these amazing members perform their next extravaganza, House of Dracula this coming November…

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100 Club



Please consider signing up to join the 100 club for the next year, it is a great way to win money and generate income for Riverside Players.

Each person buys a numbered ball (or balls) that go into the whirly whirly machine thingy and 1st, 2nd and 3rd places are drawn monthly. Half the money goes in prizes and half goes to Riverside Players funds (that’s for you!).

Ten months of the year we have a draw for £50, £25 and £15.
Twice a year (AGM and Christmas Social) the big prizes are £150, £50 and £25.

All you have to do is to commit to twelve months. Set up a standing order from your bank to: “Riverside Players” Sort Code 20-25-42 Ac. No. 10752134 for £4 per month per number.

Let Graham Steel (Treasurer) have your details for Sort Code and Account Number so he can set up payment details and sit back and watch the money roll into your bank account (hopefully)… be lucky.

Winners names are published in the newsletters and on the website (Information/100 club).

What is Wyrd Sisters’ all about?


Don’t know much about Terry Pratchett®, Discworld® or Wyrd Sisters?

Then let us give you a glimpse!

What is Discworld®?

The Discworld® is portrayed in a series of comic fantasy books set on the fictional Discworld®. It is a flat disc balanced on the backs of four elephants which in turn stand on the back of a giant turtle, the Great A’Tuin. The books frequently parody or take inspiration from J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft and William Shakespeare as well as mythology, folklore and fairy tales. These are often used for satirical parallels with current cultural, political and scientific issues. The series has proven wildly popular with more than 80 million books sold in 37 languages.

You will like this play if you like….

Stardust (the movie), Blackadder, The Lion King, The Princess Bride, Yonderland, Harry Potter amongst many others of this ilk.

Is it suitable for Children?

Whilst not expressly written for children, this particular production is strongly influenced by an animated adaption by Cosgrove Hall, famous for the Danger Mouse and Count Duckula series. Anyone with a big imagination will adore it.

I don’t like Shakespeare; will I like this?

Each novel usually has a strong theme in its story, this one being Shakespeare and the theatre in general. It is not written using iambic pentametre, but if you are familiar with Shakespeare’s work, there are a lot of amusing references.

What other Riverside Players productions is it like?

Discworld® plays are some of the most performed by amateur groups in the UK. It is a first for the Riverside Players, but all plays are different; even when the script is the same. This is not a pantomime but it does have a lot of colour and bright characters. It has comedy elements similar to ‘Allo ‘Allo and Dad’s Army. It has a grand scale similar to A Tale of Two Cities.

Great I want to know more!

And you shall! You can book tickets online through ticketsource as well as emailing or calling our box office on 07704 279948

A little thing to give you an insight into the show:


Arcadia Audition Pieces


The Autumn Production will be Arcadia by Tom Stoppard, directed by Ian Slipper

Playing dates are 16th, 17th, 23rd and 24th of October 2015. Rehearsals will start at the end of July.

There will be a read-through on 24th May at 5pm in Eynsford Village Hall and Auditions the following Sunday 31st May at 2pm in Eynsford Village Hall.

In 1809 at Sidley Park, the orderly classicism of Lady Croom’s Capability Brown grounds is being turned into a picturesque romantic chaos, as fashion dictates, by landscape architect “Culpability Noakes”. In a Regency room overlooking the work is Lady Croom’s brilliant adolescent daughter, Thomasina Coverly, with her handsome, clever tutor Septimus Hodge. Their maths lesson is interrupted by, among others, the imperious Lady Croom and Ezra Chater, a cuckold and minor poet, determined on satisfaction. 180 years later in the same room, a corresponding group, comprising a mathematician, a biographer/historian and a vulgar academic, try to unravel the events of 1809 – with spectacularly erroneous results.

In order for Riverside Players to bring this award winning play to our public we need YOU to audition!

There are 13 characters played by 12 actors. A character list with suggested playing ages is given below. The % figures are the proportion of lines for that character to give you an idea of the relative sizes of the roles.


Thomasina Coverly 10% – playing age 13 and later 16, daughter of the house, mathematical prodigy, vibrant, engaging, emerging sexuality.

Thomasina Audition Piece

Septimus Hodge 15% – playing age 22, later 25, her tutor, sharp witted, smouldering sexuality, Lady Croom’s lover, friend of Lord Byron (not seen).
Septimus Audition Piece 1
Septimus Audition Piece 2

Jellaby 2% – middle-aged butler, prim and proper.
Jellaby Audition Piece

Ezra Chater 2% – playing age 31, a minor poet with a promiscuous wife (not seen), blustery buffoon.
Ezra Audition Piece

Richard Noakes 2% – middle-aged landscape architect, earnest.
Richard Audition Piece

Lady Croom 6% – playing age middle to late thirties, lady of the manor, sweeping regal air, affairs with Septimus, Count Zelinsky (not seen) and Lord Byron.
Lady Croom Audition Piece

Captain Brice, RN 1% – playing age middle to late thirties, brother of Lady Croom, lover to Mrs Chater, stiff military bearing.
Captain Brice Audition Piece

Augustus Coverly 1% – playing age 15, energetic brother of Thomasina (Also plays Gus Coverly – see below)
Augustus Audition Piece

Present day

Hannah Jarvis 23% – playing age late thirties, a best-selling author, emotionally reserved, scientific, classical.
Hannah Audition Piece

Chloë Coverly 5% – playing age eighteen, youthful innocence, vulnerable, teenage sexuality.
Chloe Audition Piece

Bernard Nightingale 19% – playing age late thirties, a don at The University of Sussex, romantic temperament, energetic, style over substance, intuitive.
Bernard Audition Piece

Valentine Coverly 12% – playing age 25-30, post-graduate biologist and mathematician at Oxford. IT savvy. Innocent in love with Hannah – no chance. Privileged background.
Valentine Audition Piece

Gus Coverly  (non-speaking) – playing age 15, a silent savant, shy and nervous, has a crush on Hannah. (Also plays Augustus)

If you have further questions, please contact me at

Riverside Players Needs You!


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